This is the story of when I stopped being lonely, eradicated the fear of death, and started to love life with all its magic and miracles.
It’s also the story of my direct encounter with the spiritual world. Receiving clear signs from the divine and the invisible worlds. When such clear signs came to me from beyond, it proved to me that there was something out there, something magical, something good. The signs of God, and my life suddenly turned into a magical journey.
I had no way to go anymore. I was at the brink of being delusional. I was at a dead end completely lost in the dark, paralyzed with fear, standing alone on a street corner with a heavy fog clouding my mind. I had lost my way, with no one to ask for help. With tremendous levels of anxiety. I was frozen stuck, literally, on a street by Frognerparken, in Oslo, Norway.
I had visited my family and I was feeling alienated, with many difficult emotions and deep existential feelings of loneliness. After years of drinking and doing drugs And with a normalized relationship to this excessive lifestyle, I now had arrived at a dead-end street in my life. I was at a crossroads of some sorts, there was a cosmic heavy fog in my mind, and everything outside was foggy.
«What’s going on? Help!». «Can someone help me! I really need help.» In this state of anxiety, and having no money, I shaped a question to something out there.
Not having any expectations of anybody or anything replying, something happens in the moment I raise the question, something strange that changed my life radically from that moment on. «Is there a T-lane controller on the subway». «I have to get home, and I can’t walk». No answer. «Should I sneak or should I walk home?» I ask myself…
Bang!
Like a spiritual push, or some kind of inner gravity, my attention is pulled towards a yellow card on the ground. One playing card of the type «Uno». I intuitively know it’s a sign because it somehow shines through my mind, piercing my consciousness, lifting my layers of cosmic fog. I decide to walk home.
When I get home, the fog is still heavy in me, with feelings of deep loneliness, and I have a strong desire to go and get drunk.
It’s been a long time since I’ve done this, about a year or so since I’ve stopped drinking. I had up to this point in my life gathered many tools in my process, to cope with these emotions, by painting and making music, practicing meditation, and physical exercise. And I had cracked the drinking code somehow. But those feelings that day were different and very difficult to cope with and I am drawn towards the familiar universe of drinking again.
So, with all these mixed emotions pulling at me, I head for the store to purchase beer. But in the moment I exit my apartment building. BANG! Another card lies in my path calling for my attention, piercing my consciousness and like the first card, it’s shining up at me. This card showing the number two.
Now, I really get the confirmation that I am being helped by something or someone from another world. It’s the same feeling as before, only now it’s calling to me at a much deeper level. If I asked for help earlier, then here it is again.
This makes a very special impression on me, appearing so shortly after the first card. I’m now convinced it’s a real sign. It does not at all feel like a coincidence. I let it sink in, but continue to go to the store buying enough beers to drown my emotions. When I am home, the first thing I do is google the meaning of the card number one, and then the meaning of the card number two. Number one says ‘to be at one with my path, finding unity in myself. Wholeness. Doing the right thing, don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t sneak on the subway and so on, the number two says: deviation from the path.
Bang!!! This hits me so hard that I decide not to drink that night. Its message speaks directly to my sensible side, I am awakened and the fog lifts from my mind. By asking for help, I get help. Somehow, I get in touch with some kind of divine power and I become so humble that I stop drinking for years.
A totally mind-blowing experience so incredible and life-changing! And these are the new changes in me: I no longer feel lonely. I’m filled with a deep security that there is something out there helping me. And I have found a deeper meaning in my life. «Oh my god it’s absolutely amaaaazing!!!»
And if there is someone on the other side, it does something to my perception and thoughts concerning the afterlife, the concept of death itself. I lose the fear of dying and all my questions regarding this topic are answered. There were clearly many more obstacles on my way forward, but my spiritual awakening had begun and I was starting to change radically. In the coming months, I found a total of thirteen cards, helping me to move forward through the agony of choices, choosing the right way for myself. Not long after this I meet the love of my life, The princess Narajna. This also with a card, the number eleven, telling me to go inside, meditate and be patient, trusting that the world will give me what I need in time.
He who seeks finds.
Signs