«This Heart is mine» is a mantra I sing to myself through the storms of my life. Lost at sea I am like the child who intuitively starts to sing, comforting myself from the fear of dying, the fear of losing it all, myself, which in many ways I do in the process of waking up.
I must trust in the divine, in my music and the visual arts, that this will guide me safely through to the other side of the storm, where life is calmer, happier, and I’m lighter, more awake, and more alive here on this earth.
I let my heart guide me, like a compass, to become the master of my own spaceship, traveling in my own universe and completing my task in figuring out my own destiny. Always following the rhythm of my heart. Which is the rhythm of the universe and God. Waking myself up in the process, I wake myself up from the dream I have been living for too long. Living In the shadow of others, the lives of others, and in the darkness of my own soul.
But I know dark doesn’t exist, it’s all just the absence of light. The light I need to pour into my life, by transforming myself through the art forms.
I ride the cosmic wave within myself upwards, riding the dragon, doing whatever it takes to make it through the storm. building a true and strong foundation within myself, learning to love it all, through the process of change. And I am constantly learning by doing, walking the walk, and talking the talk, singing the mantra of T.H.I.M.E (This heart is mine). Guarding my own seed of spirituality that’s growing high within me.
I fake it til I make it, until I get where I want to be. Concentrating all my energy on this one goal: the desire to live, thrive, love, and to be happy. And when I’m ready to let go of the past, I tie my lifeline to a rabbit’s eye, letting the winds of change and destiny take me wherever it wants to go, towards the new shores of my new life. Flying over the oceans of my own emotions, I untie the line to my past, landing myself in a safe place where I know I can be happy, where I can grow and make my art in peace.
The mantra of T.H.I.M.E is also a reminder to set strict boundaries for myself and other people. Being aware that their intentions and pathways are not always compatible with my own. We are like planets that must find our own entities to revolve around, knowing what’s good for us, what are destinies are.
Finding my safe space in relations to others. As an artist, and as a human being. I’ve found that I need a lot of space to work, and having cracked the code to the illusion of loneliness, I really enjoy the solitude of the artists reflective lifestyle. We are all lonely travelers in our own universe, and I love diving into my own inner world, into the vast ocean of ideas.
And I know I am protected in my own circle of prayers, all thirty-three beings to be exact, helping me, cheering me on, and praying for my own soul’s liberation. Because I believe it, they are always there for me. And the success of living the correct life for me as an artist is to be free in spirit. So if I follow the intuitive way, I know I’ll get there, finding my own tools along the way.
In my search, I see clear results: My health gets better, my spirit becomes happier, and I get where I want to be. In private life and in my work.
I avoid the curse of all the things I «have to do» and «should do». For that is death. I end up winning Ragnarok in my own life, which is the destruction of gods and all things in the final battle of evil powers. Untying my lines to the past, tying them all up to heaven, and to the present moment in the here and now, reaching upwards in me beyond time. Following the path of the light, and the angels. Giving myself back to myself.
No matter how long it would take I made sure I would complete this life’s quest. Not only for myself, but also for later generations coming after me. I was lost in the dark, but I was found, awakened in myself. By following my heart and peeling my own inner onion, I lifted the layers within myself and I saw the truth, and found what was good for me. Seeing, finally, the dawn rise in my own life, after many trials and tribulations. Learning to live in my own universe. I was now ready to live the sweet life.
It was about…
T.H.I.M.E.